In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king

So, today one of my close but abhorrent (causing repugnance; detestable; loathsome: an abhorrent deed) friends was banned from ever stepping foot onto St. Joseph's premises. Something about a gift shop storage room and unlocked doors. Also, for some odd reason, the elevators go from one to five. There's no two, three, or four. Maintenence... Second floor, though the other two floors purpose... They allude me. Another time and another place to ponder the use of the St. Joe's floors. I think it's almost time for me to severe (to break off or dissolve (ties, relations, etc.)) my contact with my friends. Out of selfishness perhaps. I want to inflict more pain onto myself. Into myself. if I cannot do so physically, it is only fitting that I torture myself emotionally.

[Ah, how pathetic.]

[Feel sorry for yourself yet?]

[Stupid, so stupid.]

[Only ever thinking of yourself.]

[Why not just kill yourself already?]

[Save everyone the pain.]

[The suffering.]

[Selfish.]

[Pathetic.]

[We hate you.]

A conversation that seems to have instilled itself within the confines of my mind. No matter how hard I shake I can't seem to dislodge the thoughts. A constant mary-go-round in my head.